Friday, November 20, 2009

Robert: Round Two

Okay. I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about anything Twilight-related, but I have one more post to do. My deepest apologies, but I feel like I have to defend myself. Even though I realize no one will ever read this.

A little while back, I went on a tiny rant about Robert Pattinson being a huge sex symbol. I personally do not understand the hype behind the Twilight movies in general, and I certainly don't understand why Pattinson was chosen to play Edward Cullen, a character who is supposed to be the most handsome and perfect man ever, according to Stephenie Meyer. I just think Pattinson is blah. And, frankly, if he wasn't chosen to play the role of Edward, the entire world would continue to think he was just blah. But, because he happened to be cast as a character that millions of tweens and middle aged women have been fantasizing about for the past few years, Pattinson has become the obsession of millions.

Does no one else find this annoying?! And strange, for that matter? I think it's strange when women and men go up to Pattinson and ask him to bite them. Even stranger is that he actually bites them.

Friggin' creepy.

I'm going off on a tangent, though. Back to the point.

After I posted this little rant about Pattinson, I got a lot of comments from people who were obviously doing a Google image search for good ol' Rob. Since many of these comments are from Anonymous commenters, or from people who will never stop by my blog again, I won't have a chance to respond to their lovely comments. So, I might as well get it off my chest by blogging. :-) Teehee! Here's a random sampling of some of the more choice comments:

From Anonymous:

WTF EVER!! By looking at avatar pics, Pattinson looks waaaay better then everyone that has left a comment on this page!!I seriously doubt he would find any of you attractive either!!

haters!! pattinson is gorgeous.

First of all, I have no idea what "WTF ever" means. (And, I apologize for those of you who don't enjoy the phrase "WTF". I'm only quoting this time.) Secondly, I'm sure Robert Pattinson would NOT find me attractive. I definitely agree. But, I'm not the one doing a huge spread for Vanity Fair, am I?

(Can anyone say Special Needs? I think he's waiting for the short bus. But, I guess he's cute, if you like that sort of thing.)

When people start calling me the sexiest woman alive, buying posters of me, and fainting whenever my name is mentioned, then I fully expect to have hundreds of bloggers posting horrible pictures of me. (And, believe me, there are plenty to be had.)

From Anonymous:
Isn't this when he was wayy younger, and plus I agree photoshop, ROB IS HOT!

You caught me. I was using Photoshop to try to make Robert Pattinson look ugly, all as part of my evil smear campaign. That's what I do in my spare time, after all. I put the heads of celebrities on bodies of eight-year old girls. Then I giggle to myself. (Actually this is supposedly from a photo shoot he did when he was a lot younger. I'll give you that. And, truth be told, this very well could be some Photoshop mock up someone else did, but I can show you hundreds of terrible pictures of Rob that still bring my point across.)

And, finally, from Lola-Grace:

Robert Pattinson would NEVER pose for a photo if he looked like that, it's clearly photoshop. It's ridiculous that any of you actually believed that. And even more ridiculous that you would post a blog just to say you think someone is ugly. Would you honestly post a blog saying how ugly you thought your next door neighbour was? Pretty cruel really.

Thanks for your comment, Lola. I have a few things to say to you.

A) First of all, here are some more of these creepy young Rob in his underwear pics. It appears that he did indeed pose for them. And, yes, I realize that he's young, so he's obviously not going to be all sexy or whatever. I don't care! It's weird! (Of course, that's just from my 20 seconds of Google searching, so it could all be fake. I'm not going to devote any more research to that.)

B) Why do we have to point out that the bad photos of Rob are "clearly done with Photoshop"? Do you think this photo of him wasn't Photoshopped?

Or this?


I could just as easily say, "Oh, come on. I can't believe any of you actually believe he really looks like that. It's clearly Photoshop." I'm just saying.

C) Why is it so ridiculous to post about some not being attractive? There are hundreds, if not thousands, of blogs devoted to posting about how beautiful Robert Pattinson is. Is it really so ridiculous that I dedicate one post (okay, two and a half posts) to pointing out that Pattinson really isn't as attractive as all of the hype leads us to believe? Perhaps, but what might be even more ridiculous is to be searching for Pattinson pictures, and leaving comments on a random girl's blog. That might be even a little MORE ridiculous. Then again, it could be a little more ridiculous for me to be devoting an entire post to arguing with anonymous commenters. *Shrug* I could go on and on. The point is that you and I are both being a little ridiculous, Lola.

D) Finally, let me point out one more thing. I don't believe that it is cruel to say I don't personally think Robert Pattinson is deserving of all of the attention he is getting. He's definitely more attractive than the average person on the street, but he's an actor. It's part of his JOB to be attractive. And, no, I most likely would not post about my next-door neighbor being ugly for a few reasons:

--I don't think I even know what my next-door neighbor looks like. (Us basement-dwellers don't fraternize much with the Above-grounders.)

--I don't think that blog post would be entertaining. (It might, though, depending on how ugly my next-door neighbor is. If he looks anything like Sloth, I might have some blogging gold on my hands! Thanks for the idea, Lola!

--MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR IS NOT BEING HAILED WORLDWIDE AS A SEX SYMBOL!!! The minute that happens, I will definitely be blogging about it and posting several unattractive photos. Just you wait.

*Deep breath* Okay. I think I'm done. I guess I get a little irritated when people comment about how I could make the world a better place if I stopped being so cruel. This blog is entitled A Hermit's Ranting Tantrums, which connotes that it will be a collection of posts about things that bovver me. If you want something a little different, please feel free to visit my new blog. (Please go visit that "bovver me" link, by the way. Oddly enough, I think Jimmy Fallon is a more attractive Robert Pattinson than Robert Pattinson is.)

No worries. I'll get off the Twilight tangent before I post again. :-)


Kim said...

I think I am your biggest fan.

P.S. Where were you when Taren and I were roommates? I can think of at least 2 people I would have kicked out in order for there to have been room for you to live there too. Just ask Taren.

Jeff said...

"Wolf Blitzer? You're an idiot!" Wow, I don't think I've laughed that hard at Jimmy Fallon before. Thanks for providing all the fun mockery of Twilight for me. It's nice not having to dig it up for myself or bother with seeing those movies.

Jules said...

Kim, I wish I could have been there. Truly, I do. Maybe we'll just have to go on more random road trips so we can visit you.

Madison said...

I love you, and Jimmy Fallon. So much.

Jillian said...

All the Rob P hype "bovvers" me. Ha ha!! Love reading your blog. It is too true, too true.

Jan said...

Oh man. These are the posts I wrote about Twilight once upon a time (you'll find that our feelings about the music from the first movie are pretty much the same):

...if you really want to read all those. But I got comment after comment of CRAZED Twilight/Rob fans who seemed extremely upset that I don't worship the ground he walks on.

By the way, he was a total cutie as Cedric Diggory, but now he just looks like a junkie.


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