Thursday, November 5, 2009

High Five!

I saw a very disturbing thing at Wal-Mart today. (I feel like that sentence is redundant. It would be surprising if I didn't see something disturbing at Wal-Mart.)


Anyway, let me introduce today's Wal-Mart wonder...


The "Gummy Candy Hand with Crunchy Bone Candy Inside!"
Yes, friends, this candy concoction weighs 1 1/2 pounds and is bigger than both of your hands put together. If you eat this whole thing, you will consume 1500 calories.

What the...?!

Who wants to eat a pound and a half of gummy candy shaped into a severed hand? And who wants to discover crunchy bone-shaped candy inside while they're munching on the flesh-colored gummy goo? Who sees that and thinks, "Oooh! Perfect. I'll pass this out to my trick-or-treaters. Or, perhaps I'll serve this to my guests at that classy Halloween shindig I'm throwing."

I mean, who in their right mind is going to buy such a useless.... Oh. It's 75% off? Well, I guess I could use this for something.

Damn you, Wal-Mart, and your falling prices.

5 comments:

Taren said...

wait just a minute, it was 75% off and you DIDN'T buy it??? who are you?!?!

Taren said...

p.s. robert pattinson is ugly.

Jeff said...

Hahahaha!! Jules... you win. I don't know what the prize is, but this post is deserving of it! Congrats on your recent victory!

Mel said...

Gross. I need to go vomit.

KaLynn said...

That thing made me want to throw up, well, until I got to the end, then I laughed!

 

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