I'm posting this picture before the paparazzi can publish it in the tabloids.

You know your neck is swollen when people actually notice it's fatter. I feel like all of the lymph nodes in my throat gave birth to new lymph nodes. Either that or my body is preparing to grow two new heads out of my neck.

Either way, I don't like it and I want it to stop.

On a good note, being sick means you don't have to get ready for the day, or care if you look like you just crawled out of some shallow grave.

Yes, I'm returning this movie to Blockbuster. Yes, I'm wearing pajama pants and flip flops and haven't done my hair or make up in three days. Got a problem?

My wonderful roomie just bought me push pops and ginger ale. That's true love right there. Thanks, Taren. I sure hope I don't give you this terrible virus, whatever it is.

This is my audition photo for America's Next Top Model. I hear Push Pops really want to sponsor next season.