Normally, here at A Hermit's Ranting Tantrums, I try to stick to casual topics. Today, however, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to say that I have to delve into a more serious issue. I hope you will bear with me so that together we can keep others from suffering through one of the most terrible experiences the human body can endure.
I'm talking, of course, about squishy pickles.
Can anything be worse than expecting to bite into a crisp pickle, and instead discovering that your mouth is filled with a nasty, mushy, dill-tasting, caterpillar-ish thing?
I submit to you that nothing can be worse. (Okay. Genocide/Starvation/AIDS/Natural Disasters/The Common Cold MIGHT be worse. It's open to interpretation.)
Millions Hundreds A couple of people each year suffer through squishy pickles in silence. Or by letting out audible screams of "Gah! Bad pickle!" and spitting them into a trash can so they can eat a different pickle.
IS THERE NO MERCY?! This tragedy must stop.
I suggest that our first course of action is to boycott squishy pickles. BEHOLD! The first product to be put on the GAH! BAD PICKLE list:
Milwaukee's Midget Kosher Dill Pickles:
IS THERE NO MERCY?! This tragedy must stop.
I suggest that our first course of action is to boycott squishy pickles. BEHOLD! The first product to be put on the GAH! BAD PICKLE list:
Milwaukee's Midget Kosher Dill Pickles:
Though this may claim to be "Wisconsin's Hometown Favorite", don't be deceived! Either this is a bold-faced lie, or you should never trust the opinion of Wisconsinites. (Wisconsonians? Wisconsinese? Whatever.) This jar is just one big squishy pickle disaster after another. (Plus, it's not very politically correct, is it? Midget pickles. Tsk Tsk. Little People pickles is the appropriate term.) Don't give in to it.
Together we can end the hurting. We can stop the squishy pickle assault.
It's up to you.
