One of my students gave me this: a giant peppermint stick.
Well, the official name of it is "Big Mint Stick". (Ah, the creativity of these candy-makers astounds me. Somehow, I don't think Willy Wonka had anything to do with creating this one.) What do I do with a Big Mint Stick? It's huge! So far, the only thing I can think of is to suck on one end of it until it becomes dangerously pointy. Then I'll hang it by my door, right next to the anti-rape alarm and the studly picture of John Stamos. That way, if anyone happens to make it past both the alarm and Uncle Jesse, he'll get a minty stake through the heart.
The name has to be changed, though. The "Big Kill-The-Intruder Stick"? I'll work on it.
Any better ideas?
3 comments:
Stick of minty protection?
Candy Pain?
make this happen. i will sleep much better at night if you do. we must protect our carnal treasures! i trust john stamos, but i mean - he can only do so much. and i'd rather use swaggle digging as a last resort.
So, instead of a wooden stake against a vampire, it's a sugar spike for the tooth fairy.
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