Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Mwhahahaha. I can now blog at work.... Excellent. :-)

Deep thought for the day:

I've decided that buying food for one person can be a very stressful endeavor. There's too much pressure! I can't get through the perishable foods fast enough!

*Jules puts her head in her hands and begins crying hysterically.*

Excuse me for one moment....


Alright, I'm better now. Seriously, though, something must be done about the banana situation.

Bananas have a very small window of opportunity. I only like them when they're still yellow-green in color, just barely ripe. Like this:

Good bananas! The problem is that they only stay that way for about two days, and then they start getting those indecent brown spots. BLECH. I just can't bring myself to eat them once they get all mushy, so I have to wait for them to turn completely black and squishy beyond all reason. Then I make banana bread! Then I eat the whole loaf of banana bread by myself. This makes my love handles grow, thus ensuring that I will continue to be an old maid....

And I will still have to deal with the pressure of buying food for one person.

IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD?! There must be a better banana-buying system.

Moral of the story: Bananas perpetuate the hermit cycle. Think about it.

Homework for all of you: Make the world a better place by developing a better banana system. The Hermit Association (HA) will appreciate your comments. (Though, the association will probably crush your ideas because HA is in favor of creating a world full of hermits....)


Jeff said...

Haha, your blog is hilarious. :) Anyway, I know this banana dilemma! I am on a streak of buying bananas right now and I'm the same way... the second they get a hint of banana-leprosy I can't handle them ANYmore! I don't make banana bread either... so you can see that I have an even crappier banana system.

Witten said...

Jules!!! Walmart let's you buy as many or as little as bananas as you would like. so you can buy one a day. or two a week... etc etc. It's a wonderful thing.

I feel your pain

Mel said...

The BEST solution: move to a tropical climate, grow your own banana tree, harvest one a day, (at the perfect stage of ripeness) AND...wait for it....feel free to continue living the Hermit life, which will not be interrupted, seeing as you don't even have to run to the store every other day to restock your supply of perfect bananas!!!

p.s. I don't like freckled bananas, either. I do, however, mush them up and feed them to Kyle. He'll eat them. So, if the whole moving plan doesn't work, maybe you could get yourself a little dog or something and feed him the in-between edible/banana bread worthy bananas. Just don't get a cat. You don't want to become the crazy, old cat lady or anything!


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