Monday, October 26, 2009

Short Letters to Inanimate Objects

Dear Dove "Go Fresh" Burst White Nectarine and Ginger Bodywash,

I'll be honest. When I first saw you, I had my doubts. That name is such a tongue-twister, and I have a hard time trusting soap that requires seven descriptive words. That all changed, though, when I got to know you. You smell delicious. I know I've only just met you, but I may have fallen in love. I hope my passionate declaration doesn't scare you off. I would hate for you to run out on me. (Ba doom ching!) See you in the shower tomorrow!


Dear Recipe for Really Yummy Chocolate Chip Cookies,

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE? I have always wanted a recipe for the yummiest, gooiest chocolate chip cookies ever, and suddenly you appear. Sure, it's true that you contain a whole pound of butter, but I don't care. You just made my week.


Dear Cold,

Shove it.



Mel said...

I think you need to move to a tropical climate and perhaps avoid your yearly winter bronchitis/cold season.


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