Friday, May 7, 2010

Some of Julianna's Thoughts While Sitting in a Sauna

Eeew. There is an old man out there wearing a Speedo. Sir, it's time to trade in your tiny suit for something a little more modest. Please. Someone should really put an age limit on Speedos. Like, only Olympians between the ages of 16 and 30 can wear them. I'm pretty sure that would cut down on most dry-heaving that occurs at public swimming pools.


And don't get me started on bikinis.

Speaking of which, a bikini-clad woman just came in to the sauna with her significant other. How do I know that these two are romantically involved? Well, first off, I just have a gift for reading people. Secondly, they are cuddling and cooing. *Shudder* Is that romantic? To come into a sauna and sweat all over each other? I don't think so, but that's just me. Call me crazy, but I think that some moments are not meant to be shared with the love of your life.

But, what do I know? I'm one of those crazy young single adults.

Uh oh. The Speedo Man is coming into the sauna. No, Speedo Man! Don't come in! Oh great. Speedo Man is sitting directly across from me. OH NO! Speedo Man is doing some very inappropriate stretching moves. Stop, Speedo Man! STOP! STOP WITH THE STRADDLE STRETCH!!! ARGH!! My retinas!!

*Julianna rushes out of the sauna, nursing her wounded eyes.*



7 comments:

Jarom said...

BAHahahahahaha!! The Niagara!

Jeff said...

I didn't even have to go to that link to know exactly which youtube video it would be. hahaha, the love toilet. Anyway, did you just retain these thoughts...via...thoughts? :) Or was there a soggy laptop or paper in this sauna?

Mel said...

At least it wasn't Tree Man in a speedo.

Aurora said...

Oh gross. I totally agree about bikinis and speedos. I just spent some time at the beach and I really couldn't look in any direction without having my eyes offended.

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Datin'Kait said...

I was on the beach once laying out on my towel, and I open my eyes to look up and see some old guy sitting across the way in really tiny swim trunks. Something seems off, so I squint my eyes against the blaring sunlight and his balls are hanging out. I threw up in my mouth a little.

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