Two SQUEE Worthy Bits of News

I have two exciting pieces of news to deliver. We'll start with the most important.

BLUE BELL IS NOW AVAILABLE IN UTAH!!!



*SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!*

(Ironically enough, I was in Texas when this particular ice cream parlor had their "We now have Blue Bell yay yay yay!" celebration. So, I was going to be having Blue Bell either way. Score. Love you, Texas! And most of all, I love all the wonderful people who let me hang out with them last week. Mwah! Miss you guys!)


And now for the second, slightly less important piece of news:

I'm engaged!

To this guy right here:



Hmmmmmm. Maybe we should find a different pic....



That's better.

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!*

I sure do love this boy. Even more than Blue Bell. (Don't tell that to Blue Bell, though. I don't want to hurt its feelings.)




And just for fun, here's a commercial we did together for BYU Broadcasting.  Enjoy.

Bucket List Kicked the Bucket

Prior to this summer, I had two items on my bucket list:

1. Visit Hawaii.
2. Swim with dolphins.

Obviously I'm a big dreamer.

Well, I'm happy to announce that I have officially crossed off both items on said bucket list! *CONFETTI!!* And the cool thing is that I didn't even have to PAY to swim with dolphins. Because all I had to do was jump out of the kayak and swim with them. In the wild.

I give you permission to be jealous.

And while I could go on and on about how much fun I had with Taren and Michelle and Mike, I'd rather just post some pictures and call it good. Yes? Yes.












Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of swimming with dolphins, so we'll just have to settle for this one with Taren and a turtle.

Totally awesome. Only someone with Taren's skill could manage to get her head and the turtle's into the frame of one of those cheap, disposable, underwater cameras.

(Note: We realize that you're supposed to maintain a distance from sea turtles in Hawaii, so as not to harass them. For the record, this guy was harassing us. We just couldn't stay away, so why not take a photo? )

Conclusions:

1. I need to add some things to my Bucket List.
2. Hawaii is the best.

Freedom!!

I just realized that I forgot to tell you all that I am now officially out of "Thank you for calling. How can I help you?" land. That's right, friends. I reached my 9 month customer service representative limit, and now I'm going back to music for a little while.

Hooray!

Here's hoping that this time I can make some money. Yes?

Ring Ring! PUNCH!

As is the case with most brilliant discoveries, I didn't even realize I was conducting an experiment. I thought I was just going to work for the last 9 months. But no! As it turns out, through the wonder of classical conditioning, I have successfully trained myself to react negatively to the ringing of the telephone.

I am a regular Ivan Pavlov. It's true. Someone give me a Nobel Prize right now.
Through my experiments over the last 9 months, I have discovered that a normal person, when forced to listen to the telephone ringing for hours a day followed by an angry call from a customer, will turn into a miserable human being.

Don't believe me? Well, feel free to try the experiment for yourself. I'm sure there are many call centers near you that would be happy to hire you on. Once at work, you will soon discover that every time the phone rings, you will have an almost uncontrollable urge to punch something in the face.

Happy call centering!

What to do, what to do....

Lately, I've been more of a hermit than normal. Shocking, I know. There are all sorts of reasons for the increase in hermitude, but I can pretty much sum up all of these reasons with the help of this lovely image from thisisindexed.com:

I feel like it's time to move on. Anyone else feel the same way?

There comes a point in life when winter has lasted far too long, and you're just ready for the sun to come out and stay a while. (Curse you, Utah springs. The month of May should not consist of 40 degree weather.)

There comes a point in life when you cannot stand the thought of another work day filled with ringing phones and whining customers and people who don't know how to copy and paste.

There comes a point when you just need to move on.

So, I'm working toward that. It's time to jettison the things in my life that are weighing me down, and to stop choosing things simply because they're easy.

Oh! And it's time to start crossing things off my bucket list--starting with Hawaii. Before this summer is over, I WILL go to Hawaii and I WILL swim with dolphins.

Want to join me? Feel free. Hermits unite!

Take Your Daylight Saving Time and Stick It Where the Sun Don't Shine. Cause That's When I'm Driving To Work Now.

(I realize I'm a little late posting about this, but I was too busy napping.)

Ah, Daylight Saving: That magical time of year when all of us (Arizona not included) lose an hour of precious sleep. And, since few of us are getting enough sleep to begin with, this creates a lot of angry, zombie-like people, searching for someone to blame for cutting into our nap time. To whom does the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate usually end up pointing? The one and only Ben-jammin Franklin.


(Am I the only one who thinks this is super creepy?)

"Darn you, Benjamin!" we say. "Why didn't you keep your blasted opinions to yourself?! We're fine with you being on the 100 dollar bill and all, but COME ON!"

Now, I love my sleep just as much as the next guy, and I hate Daylight Saving time MORE than the next guy, but I think we all need to take a step back and give poor Ben a break.

Here's the deal: Benjamin Franklin's whole suggestion for this business was satirical in nature. Just the writings of a brilliant guy who was probably bored sitting in a house in Paris. (Here's the whole letter, if you want to read it.) So, should we really be blaming Ben? Or should we be blaming all of us (Arizona not included) for continuing to do this STUPID MOVE-THE-CLOCKS-FORWARD-AND-BACK THING?!

*Jules gets so upset she falls into a deep sleep. Narcolepsy style.*

Ahem. Excuse me.

This is what I'm asking for, People of the World. I want to hear at least three good, solid reasons for why I lost an hour of sleep this week, and why I'm driving to work in the dark. If the reason includes something like, "It's great! It stays lighter longer," I don't want to hear it. Know why? BECAUSE THERE IS STILL THE SAME AMOUNT OF LIGHT!! Now, however, when I'm driving to work at 6:30 in the morning, IT'S DARK! Know why? BECAUSE I'M REALLY DRIVING TO WORK AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING!!

*Angry Jules. "Flames. Flames on the side of my face...."*

The other thing I don't want to hear is that it saves us all so much money. I hear this often, but I have yet to see any real proof of this supposed fact. Does anyone have some hardcore evidence of this? (Or would you like to Google it for me?) People keep telling me that it saves so much money, but I have yet to see the data. So, show it to me.

And, even if you can prove that it saves money, I don't care. I'll just leave me lights on twice as long out of spite. Take THAT!

Next year, I'm boycotting. This is the worst idea ever.

That's enough. I'm going back to sleep.

Flife!

My most loyal reader (Hi Dad!) has been dropping several hints lately about my lack of blogging.

"Well, I don't know what's going on in Jules' life, since she never blogs anymore."

"Dad, we live in the same house. I talk with you all the time."

"It's not on the blog...."

And, since I've moved to a new place (finally), I no longer have an excuse for my slacking. And, since it's my most loyal reader's birthday today (Happy Birthday, Dad!), I figure I owe it to him to at least blog a little bit.

So, since I haven't written a haiku in a while, here are two:

(For Padre)

Throw some confetti.

Please party responsibly.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

(On Julianna's Life As a Twenty-Something)

Life is happening.

What more do you want to know?

I need to sleep more.

I hope life is treating you all well! And if it's not, you should body slam it.

(And Happy Birthday, Dad!)

Practice Safe Text

(I want one of these shirts--minus the unnecessary apostrophe.)

Still not sure about this National Hermit Month thing? Still need reasons to stay in your house and never come out? Well, let me teach you about one woman who should have celebrated National Hermit Month with the rest of us.

Meet Cathy Cruz Marrero:, the woman who tripped into a fountain while texting, and was lucky enough to get caught on tape.

(By the way, I'm sorry to say that this isn't the greatest video of the incident. Unfortunately, the good one was taken off of YouTube because of Cathy's whining, which I will discuss in a minute.)

Now, there's an embarrassing moment worth sharing during getting-to-know-you conversations. You could pretty much "one up" anyone.

"Cathy, what's your most embarrassing moment?"

"Well, let me show you, man. It's epic. I got millions of hits on YouTube."

I, for one, would be proud that such a hilarious moment was caught on film. In fact, the next time I do something idiotic like that in a public place, I'm going to find the security guards and ask if they caught it on tape.

But, not Cathy. She had a completely different reaction to this whole situation, and decided to become angry. Watch this.

I have so many issues with this. SOOO many.

First of all, if she would have just kept her mouth shut, NO ONE would have known that this was her. Honestly, if you watch the video, you can't even tell that it's a woman.

Secondly, it drives me nuts that she says, "I usually don't walk and text. I don't do that. I wait til I go home and text." Lady, I don't believe you for one second. And who cares if you walk and text? Everyone does. Not everyone falls in a fountain while they're doing that, but to each her own.

Thirdly, it's maddening that she's trying to sue mall security for not coming to check on her. "Sometimes there's not water in that fountain. I could have been really hurt." Obviously, there was water in that fountain because she was soaking wet. And, obviously, she wasn't hurt because she stood up and walked away. So, just shut up, lady. Laugh it off, lady! She's making it worse by trying to fight this. Now everyone just heartily dislikes her.

Fourthly, she says she would never post a video like this. She would think of the person's feelings. BULL. I'm sure she's done her fair share of posting funny videos on her Facebook wall, or watching America's Funniest Home Videos back in the day. Let's face it: This kind of stuff is HILARIOUS when it's not happening to you!

And, finally: "What would you like people to learn about texting?"

"It's dangerous."

*Blink.*

Nope, being inattentive is dangerous.

So, Cathy, I wish you the best, but you are not handling this in the right way. You should have just stayed at home. And now you have way more problems than just an embarrassing YouTube video.

Let that be a listen to you, hermits and shermits everywhere. Don't leave your house in January.

You've still got a week left in Hermit Month. Make it count!

A (completely fabricated) History of Hermits

What is this National Hermit Month, you may be asking, and how did it all come about? Excellent questions, my friends. Excellent questions, indeed.

The truth is that Hermits and Shermits (she hermits) have been around since the very first January decided to declare its presence with characteristic cold weather and general orneriness. Now, I wasn't there for the inception (BWONG!) of the hermits, but I imagine it happened like this:

*DRAMATIZATION*

Scene: MAN and WOMAN have finished their December holiday partying, and decide it's time to leave their cave for some fresh air. They take a deep breath and take one step out of their cave, when suddenly EVIL JANUARY runs out of the woods and uses his icicle club to bludgeon MAN and WOMAN repeatedly until they have no choice but to limp back into the safety of their cave. EVIL JANUARY laughs maniacally.

The End.

And that was the beginning of fairies. I mean hermits.

So, really, we come by our hermithood naturally. It's perfectly normal for people to want to crawl inside a hole and do nothing but sit in a bubble bath and watch Castle all day, because that's what our ancient ancestors did. (That's right. They had bubble baths and TV in the stone age. Don't let anyone tell you differently.) The next time someone tries to chastise you for being lazy in the month of January, feel free to chastise them for attempting to thwart Mother Nature.

Take THAT, you ambitious, non-hermits.

Well, I've let slip some of my fav hermit activities. What are yours? Anyone?

(If you say World of Warcraft, you shall be stricken from my blog. Also, this is terrifying. Completely unrelated, but terrifying.)

Happy hermit-ing!

GASP!

Oh no! It's National Hermit Month (Julianna's made-up month) and I've missed nearly a third of it!

I am a disgrace to all hermits. Or am I? *Raised eyebrow*

I will have you know that I have been extremely hermitish so far this January--cranky, whiny, depressed, etc. Ha! I have been the best hermit ever!

Actually, I've been distracted by a few things...mainly these adorable guys:

So, maybe I've been a little distracted. BUT FEAR NOT! The hermit-ing will continue.

Let the National Hermit Month Festivities begin!