I Do NOT Remember Him!

Do you ever have what I like to refer to as "sitcom moments"? Like, you run into someone who has man hands or you invite an alien to be your roommate? This kind of stuff happens to me all the time!

I mean, ahem, my roommate is not an alien. *Shifty eyes* (Your secret is still safe, Taren. Phew!)

Well, I had one of those "Friends" moments the other day. Do any of you remember this gem with Brad Pitt? Even if you don't, you're going to be treated to it right now, thanks to the magic of YouTube:

Oh, Brad. *Sigh* Why did you hook up with Angelina?! WHY?!!

Not important. Here's the "Friends" moment that showed up in my life a little while ago: this dude Will hates Rachel, and she doesn't even remember him.

Let's switch over to my life now, where the people are not quite as funny or attractive, but they also aren't quite as devoid of morals, so it all balances out.

I was hanging out with one of my friends, who we'll call Jim. (Names have been changed, just for fun.)

Jim: Do you remember Juan from choir?

Me: Juan? Um...nope. I'm drawing a complete blank. Who?

Jim: Juan. You really don't remember him?

Me: No. Not at all.

Jim: Well, he certainly remembers you.

Me: What does that mean?

Jim: He doesn't like you at all.

Me: What?! Why?!

Jim: Apparently he asked you out and you totally shut him down. He thinks you're a total (insert not so kind word here).

Me: That's so sad! I don't even remember that at all!

Jim: Well, knowing Juan, he probably mumbled it so you didn't even hear it.

How sad! Some kid I don't even remember hates me! I'm distraught about this. I like to think I'm a semi-likeable person, but my enemies list seems to be growing, especially after those anti-Robert Pattinson blog posts I wrote.

And, just in case you're reading this, Robert, I don't dislike YOU. I just don't think you're very good-looking. We can still be friends, though!

Oh well. You're still my friend, right? Right?

Anyone?

*Crickets chirp*