Friday, December 18, 2009


Nerdy Jules Fact #1:  I collect fortunes.  Yes, that's right; fortune cookie fortunes.

I don't know why I do this, but it's a habit that I've come to accept.  Every time I eat at a Chinese restaurant, I write down the date on the back of the fortune and put it in my wallet.  I just want to see if any of these fortunes end up coming true.

I started writing the dates down a few years ago.  My family and I were at a Chinese buffet for some reason or another.  (It must have been some very fancy event:  we were at a buffet, after all.  "Is it okay if I get some Lo Mein?"  "Honey, you can eat as much Lo Mein as you want.  We spare no expense here.")


My brother Brandon and I had just decided that we were going to chill that night, since we had nothing better to do.  Then we cracked open our fortune cookies.  I don't remember what his said, but mine was this:

"The evening promises romantic interests."

Hmmmmm.  Needless to say, this one did not come true.

But, that doesn't mean that other fortunes don't come true!  I mean, I got this gem a couple of years ago:

"You and your spouse will be happy in your life together."

Okay, so this hasn't happened YET, but I have high hopes that somewhere in the distant future this will become a reality!  Then I'll have to write some sort of letter to those random people who work themselves to the bone everyday brainstorming new phrases that will be perfect for the the crunchy cardboard-flavored fortune cookies that bring the world such joy!

Dear Fortune Writers,

You've done it!  You have successfully predicted my fortune, and I thank you for it.  I am going to request that your boss raises your wage from $7.50 an hour to $7.65.  No need to thank me.  You just get back to typing out those fortunes.  Oh, and please stick to fortunes.  I don't need any more truisms (ex. "Your thoughts are highly regarded.") or helpful advice (ex. "Visit a park.  Enjoy what nature has to offer.).  I would just appreciate it if you would continue to accurately predict my future.

Much love,


Now, maybe I'll send this letter if my fortune from yesterday comes true:

"A bold and dashing adventure is in your future."

Dashing, eh?  Sounds exciting and...British-ish.  I'm in.

Have any of you ever had your fortune come true?


Kim said...

Super cool story alert (or at least I think so)...

I had dated Dave a few times and then broke up with him because the guys I worked with didn't like him and didn't want me to like him. Fast forward a month or so later and we end up on a fire crew of about 20 people together.

So after a couple days we were kinda sneaking smiles or whatever here and there and finally we made it to Idaho and got to the fire. We worked our butts off and when we get to camp the caterer had made Chinese food that night for dinner (just what every firefighter wants after working their arse off all day is catered chinese).

I had been all nervous about what I was going to do about Dave and then comes the whole "who am I going to sit with at dinner" thing. Anyway, they had fortune cookies at the end of the line and I grabbed one. After I was finished eating I opened it and it said "A secret romance is blooming - go for it in spite of your hesitations." I about choked. Needless to say, we had our first kiss on that fire a few days later.

I believe in the magic. And telling really long life stories in comments.

P.S. Please don't use that dollar at BK. Ew.

Jeff said...

The last fortune cookie I remember is one that decided to boss me around. It was seriously the meanest cookie I've ever met. It said, "You need to seriously reconsider your future plans for success." Shut your slip of paper up fortune cookie!

Fenwick said...

Bold and Dashing.... sounds like you're having a night out with Robert Pattinson. RAWR. Ooh, that WILL be a fun adventure... Ladies.

Leah Jones said...

Ok this one is not my story, but it is still a good one. A dude I work with seriously goes to China Ilse 3 times a week for lunch. But 2 days in a row he didn't get a fortune in his fortune cookie. So he called the number on the wrapper and hilarity ensued...He asked the woman who answer the phone if that meant he had no future...then he asked her if he would read him a fortune so he knew he had one...funniest phone call to listen to ever! I personally have never had a fortune that even come true but I can dream :)


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