Thursday, October 21, 2010

Public Service Announcement #3

This month, I want us to work on eliminating this phrase:

"I like long walks on the beach."

Example: My name's Julianna, and I like long walks on the beach.

Why am I targeting this one, you may ask? BECAUSE I CAN'T LISTEN TO IT ANYMORE.

Here's the weird thing about this phrase: I'm sure it started out as a sincere way to introduce oneself service videos. And then it was overused to the point that people started saying it as a joke. Oh, and what a funny joke it was for people to introduce themselves that way at work and school and church and such. Har har har. And then the joke got less funny over the years as people continued to introduce themselves that way at work and school and church and such. Har har. And now it's decidedly UNfunny when people introduce themselves this way at work and school and church and such, but we feel obligated to give out at least one "Har".

No more. Let's do away with that final "Har".

If you are one of those hundreds of people that STILL thinks this is a clever way to introduce yourself, let me enlighten you. IT'S NOT. You might as well stand up and say, "My name is ______, and I like being unoriginal." (Ironically enough, it would be more original for you to say you like being unoriginal, but whatever.) And, if you are one of those hundreds of people that STILL laughs when someone introduces himself with the beach phrase, I beg you to stop encouraging this.

I submit that the next time someone tries to get a laugh by using this phrase, we all choose to stay completely silent. No laughter. If you can make a cricket chirping noise, do so. Feel free to glare at the person who uses the stale phrase. Make him feel so embarrassed that he will never say it or laugh at it ever again.

I know it sounds harsh, but it must be done.

Go forth, my people. Grab your literary pitchforks and slay the ogre that is "I like long walks on the beach"!


Taren said...

OH MY GOSH, I was just thinking about this on my way to school today! Really! This is freaky! I was also thinking about women you say something about how they love chocolate in "about me" sections. Sure, some really do LOVE chocolate, but most of the time it's just a cop out. It's like saying "I like ice cream"... Well duh.

Taren said...

Furthermore, how many people actually participate in long beach walks on a regular basis? The next time someone claims to enjoy it in calling them out. "Okay Mike, and when was the last time you walked on a beach?"

Mel said...

Stephen wants me to comment on this:
"This must be a Utah thing. I have attended work, school, and church in New Mexico, Texas, and Florida, and have NEVER heard this phrase."

Maybe these states are just more efficient in following your admonition....or, maybe it IS a Utah thing.

TheSinglesWard said...

Sorry Jules, but if we ever introduce ourselves to you we will definitely be liking long walks on the beach. It's funny, you'll laugh, and we'll go on about our merry ways.

Jarom said...

"If you don't like the weather here, wait ten minutes." is pretty universal, and everyone seems to think it's theirs. Should we kill that one too?

Drake said...

That's tough, but fair. You only get one chance at a first impression, don't let it be a cliche.

Fei said...

How about "I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain"? ;)

Jeff said...

Now that you've taken away my FAVORITE joke with this PSA, I'll have to resort to my new introductory joke: Hi, my name is Jeff, and I'm ACTUALLY capable of making the cricket sound!

But of course, I'm joking. I concur. This was quite the pulchritud....I mean... wonderful post.

On a serious note: Jules, will you compile at least a dozen ways for me to completely avoid, derail, circumvent, or obliterate the typical small talk conversation? (I speak of: "Hi, what's your name? Where are you from? Are you in school? What are you studying?/Where do you work? What do you do there?") I really despise the fact that I have that conversation and then find that I don't know ANYTHING of substance about the person, and I'm lucky if I'll remember their name in a week. If you could address this with a PSA I would be most appreciative. If you don't want to, that's cool, too. ... K, bye.


Blog Template by - RSS icons by ComingUpForAir