I didn't get this kind of quality education in college.

Are you ready for your lesson from the kindergarteners?

Today's topic: Dating

I told the kids to go around the room and pick up imaginary sea shells. We've been talking a lot about the beach lately, mainly because I would rather be on the beach and I would rather live in an imaginary world, even if it means I have to drag several young children with me. :-) Oh, too much information? I'm sorry.

Well, after they found some sea shells, their assignment was to sing about what kind of shell they found. A lot of them mentioned that they found snail shells. (We have a fake snail friend in the class named Shurmy.) Still too much information? Deal with it.

Anyway, this is the conversation that ensued:

Girl #1: (sings) I found Shurmy's girlfriend.

Girl #2: (sings) I found Shurmy's other girlfriend.

Girl #1: (in a "no-you-didn't" sort of tone) Shurmy can't have two girlfriends.

Girl #2: He can have as many girlfriends as he wants!

Girl #1: Well, which one will he marry?

Girl #2: He'll marry mine because she wears jewelry.

Girl #1: Well, mine is rich!


At which point I stepped in and started singing a new song. I didn't want to have a cat fight break out over which imaginary snail girlfriend would be most suitable to marry the imaginary unfaithful snail boyfriend named Shurmy. Maybe I should have taken the time to teach them Carrie Underwood's song Before He Cheats, but I decided to go with something a little more conservative like "Home is Where the Heart Is".

Oh, and the kids decided that Shurmy's girlfriend is named Lily and together they have a baby named JuJu.

I'm learning so much.