Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Thar She Blows

We all have our little fears, right? Some people are afraid of heights. Some people are afraid of clowns. I think it's safe to say that we're all just a little afraid of Richard Simmons.

Eek.

These fears are perfectly normal.

Then there are fears that are completely unjustified. For example, I'm terrified of dying in a submarine. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I come in contact with submarines on a daily basis. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only way I'm going to die in a submarine is if some freak accident happens on the Finding Nemo ride at Disneyland. And then I'll get my name added to that super cool Snopes page about Disneyland deaths!

Stop rolling your eyes at me. It could happen.

Anyway, thanks to MSNBC, I now have another irrational fear to add to the list:

Death by whale. (Alright, technically the couple didn't get killed by the whale, but LOOK AT THAT THING!!)

How does one prepare for that? Is there some sort of Captain Ahab-inspired class on what to do if a whale jumps at you? Is there an insurance policy in the event of whale damage? Why am I even worrying about these things?!

I guess my dreams of marrying a wealthy yacht-owner have officially been killed.

Damn you, MSNBC. Damn you. *Jules shakes the fist of anger*

5 comments:

Masked McKenna said...

My big fear is of giant squids. Ever since I saw 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, I can't stop picturing them swimming around beneath my feet in the ocean.

Those things are just bizarre!

Jarom said...

Is it safe to say that 家榮家榮 should be afraid of going to a special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater?

Jeff said...

LOL @ Jarom! Yes, it is. Probably this dawsonfelicia, too.

Jules, my irrational fear is that I'll be arrested for a crime I didn't commit. My VERY rational fear was mentioned in your post, too. No person in their right mind is not afraid of Richard Simmons. It's a fact.

Jules said...

Seriously. Those spammers need to go away.

And word verification did nothing to stop them. In fact, I think things got worse after I added word verification.

Jeff said...

Who was there just in time to take that picture?

 

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