Sunday, June 6, 2010

Armpit of America

Dear Albuquerque,

For a long time now, I have not been kind to you. Behind your back, I often refer to you as "The Armpit of America". You may be wondering what you have done to cause me to dislike you so much. Well, I don't like to bring up old wounds, but do you remember that one time when I spent my New Year's Eve in one of your roach motels and two people were murdered there? Yeah, that didn't sit so well with me.

But, let's not dwell on the past. The reason I'm writing to you is because I want to apologize for all of the mean things I've said. To my great surprise, I enjoyed the time I spent with you this trip. Keep it up, Albuquerque.



P.S. The new recipient of the Armpit of America award is Vaughn, New Mexico.
P.P.S. I still think we should give New Mexico back to Old Mexico.


Mel said...

Many people here aren't aware that New Mexico is ACTUALLY different than Old Mexico. When we were filling out Ryan's birth certificate and had to include the father's birthplace, the nurse couldn't believe Stephen was "Mexican." Um, apparently knowing ALL 50 states isn't a requirement for Florida residents????

Drake said...

If memory serves, isn't Albuquerque the place where Bugs Bunny always takes a wrong turn before ending up in some foreign locale? Another black mark against it.

Jeff said...

Would giving New Mexico back to Mexico be considered a gift?

長卉長卉 said...

Subtlety is better than force. ............................................................

Datin'Kait said...

I like the way you think. What's wrong with Vaughn, NM?

Jarom said...

Albuquerque, August 14, 2008. Seven police officers arresting three people within a two block radius.

"What's that smell?" someone asked.

"Armpit." "Plain old armpit..."


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