Friday, February 13, 2009

Musings On a Friday Night When I Should Just Go To Bed....

Every now and then, a hermit must take a break from her tantrums and switch to musing. It must be done. And, it just so happens that the urge to do so has hit me at 11:45 on a Friday night. Ah well. I must obey the Hermit Code and follow my instincts. (Note to self: Put "Write a Hermit Code" on the to-do list for tomorrow....)

Musing #1: Some names make good substitute swear words. (Ex. "What the Jeff?") Chekhov is an excellent name for this, because it sounds like a swear word all by itself. (Just say it. Chekhov!)

Musing #2: Twilight is most definitely a worse movie the second time through. I thought the movie was painful enough the first time, but the second time through is much worse. Mildly funny, but also mildly painful. The entire movie consists of two not-so-good actors staring deeply into each other's eyes while trying desperately to *feel* something. Is Edward sucking on a sour candy the whole movie? Possibly. How else could he keep that angst-ridden look on his face throughout the WHOLE BLASTED FILM?! Is Bella capable of spitting out a line without stuttering or pausing? Apparently not.

And, yes, the cheesy electric guitar is going to play in the background for the entire movie. Don't hope for it to end, because it won't.

Way to go, Twilight makers. Way to go.

Musing #3: What is the exact definition of "musing", anyway? Because I think I'm still just ranting....

And, there you have it. Now the urge to sleep has suddenly hit me. Well, I must obey the code after all, and the code clearly states that a hermit must go to bed when she feels the urge to sleep. (At least, that's what the code will say when I write it tomorrow...if the urge to do so hits me.)

Monday, February 9, 2009

Thoughts on Braces: Week 1

Yes, it's true. I finally bit the bullet, so to speak, and decided to fix my gappy teeth. So, that means I get to look like this for (roughly) the next twelve months of my life:

My apologies, but at this time I haven't released any photos with the new braces. The paparazzi is hounding me daily in a desperate attempt to capture a rare photo of my new smile, but I'm fairly adept at avoiding these pictures. (I watched a lot of "Home Improvement" as a child, and learned several tips from Wilson. Thanks, Wilson, for teaching me how to hide my face.)

Anyway, here are my thoughts about having braces, thus far:

Day 1) I was quite shocked at how relatively painless the whole process was. "This is it?" I thought. "This isn't bad at all! People are such whiners!" Of course, I didn't know what in the world to do with my mouth now that it was filled with a layer of ceramic and metal, but that was just fine. I could deal with that.

Day 2) Things were still great. I went to work, I could talk, had a fun night. Things were awesome. Once again I thought, "People are whiners! This isn't even that bad."

Day 3) I got my come-uppance, big time. I woke up and my lips were so swollen that I didn't even have dimples any more. I looked a little like Jack Nicholson's Joker from "Batman". I had this pained perma-grin on my face:

Not cute.

Day 4) Thoughts-- "Kill me now." "My mouth is on fire." "What was I thinking?"
On a positive note, I did lose about five pounds because I COULDN'T EAT ANYTHING!!!! Ha ha.


Day 6) #&$#*#*!!!

Day 7) Somehow, I found my inner chi and decided to respect the braces. I guess.

Secretly, I still want to rip them out of my mouth, but I'm trying to be a good girl. Plus, the brackets seem to be plenty willing to pop off on their own, so I don't even need to do anything.

Oh well. It will be worth it, right?

Just say yes, everyone. Humor me.


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