Sunday, April 29, 2007


I'm putting a disclaimer at the top of this. Whenever I vent about the Church, people get offended and think I'm a sinner or that I'm going apostate or have a bad attitude or just don't understand the Gospel. (Yes, I realize that is a run-on sentence.) I love the Gospel, I just get very frustrated with people who try to give church programs priority over more important things. I also get irritated when people mistake the culture surrounding the Church for actual Church doctrine. Here is my rant about that. So, if you feel the urge to read this, please do not use your RM scripture quotes to attempt to bring me back to the fold. I'm doing just fine. I don't need or want to be preached to...I guess that's why I'm venting about this online instead of face to face with people. Here we go.

This was stake conference weekend for my stake, and like a good girl I went to the Saturday meeting. To be honest, I don't get incredibly excited for Saturday meetings, but I go because I know they're good for vegetables. Usually they're great experiences and I come away feeling like I've learned something. Not this time.

I won't go into great detail about it, but let's just say it felt an awful lot like "Open Mic Night" at the church. The presiding authority (who was a great speaker) made the mistake of allowing the congregation to comment. One of the main topics that people were commenting on was how we can help "the youth." People talked all about how troubled the youth are and what danger they're in and blah blah blah. I am currently in the "youth" category, and I felt like I was some little kid who had just gotten in trouble at school and was eavesdropping on the conversation between my mom and the teacher.

It made me feel awful the whole time. I can't really explain why. I think it's because I feel that I understand the Gospel and I love it, but then I go to meetings like that where everyone in the congregation doesn't seem to be hearing the same things I am, and I get frustrated. And then when I try to explain this to other people, they treat me like a hellion because I don't feel the heavens open every time I go to church.

Luckily, my family is amazing. I was there with them, and when I came home I just kind of broke down because it bothered me so much. And they had the same issues I did. My parents are so awesome and we just sat and talked about the Gospel for awhile until I felt better...and not so crazy.

So, I can always run to my family and know that they will "get it." I worry, though, about finding someone to marry who will "get it." So far, most of the guys (especially RM's) I've gone on dates with are too busy trying to preach to me to listen. i guess I'm spoiled. I've got such a cool family that it will be hard to find a guy who can trump them. Time to become a hermit.

Okay, vent is officially over.


Jarom said...

You're braver than I am. My own written thoughts, the deeper ones anyway, don't often find their way off of paper.


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