Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I love small town people.

When I say that, I actually mean people who live in small opposed to town people who are small. (Though I'm sure the small people are just as love-able.)

Why do I love the citizens of small towns? They're so gosh-darn easy going. That is why I want to take some time today to commend Eureka for its complete and total awesomeness.

We took a large group of people to Eureka last week to do some filming for Demon Chicken (premiering Dec. 9 in Pleasant Grove, peeps). Now, most people in "normal" cities would have a hernia if a drove of college-aged kids showed up in full make up to film a low budget movie, but not the good people of Eureka. No sir. They were excited about letting us use their town. Like, wanted to take pictures with us, excited. Like, wanted to help film, excited.

I'd especially like to take a moment to give a shout out to two very special Eurekans.

To Billy, the nice elderly gentleman who let us film in his buildings, you totally rock. And I think your idea of making a "topless bar" out of your roofless building is fantastic. Perhaps a little inappropriate and too progressive for a sleepy town, but fantastic nonetheless.

And to Craig, you might be the coolest sheriff I've ever met. Everyone, I want you to picture this in your head: Imagine that you are a sheriff. Yes, you. You are driving down the road in your sheriffy car, when you see some people running around dressed as zombies. "Huh," you think. "That's strange." Then you look across the street and see a girl (that would be me, Jules) dressed in nothing but a towel, being airbrushed blue. Now, you might be tempted to take some sort of disciplinary action against these hooligans, right? Well, not Craig! He drove his truck right up to me and said, "Hey. This looked like fun, so I thought I'd come over and see what you're doing."

Here's to you, Craig. And Billy. And Eureka.


Friday, September 17, 2010

Public Service Announcement #2

Good job with refraining from using "git er done", my minions. Statistics show* that "git er done" usage is down by 36%. (Of course, it just went up since I used it twice. Blast.)

Even though we've cut back on one annoying phrase, though, there are many more out there. We've got work to do.

*Inspiring music begins to play in the background. You may all turn on the Braveheart soundtrack now.*

The fight may be long. The fight may be hard. There may be days when we feel like we are going to be overrun by the vast amount of people who don't know how speak correctly. BUT WE WILL NOT GIVE UP! We will not falter! Together we will show the world that they can continue to speak like idiots, but they can never make us speak like idiots!

*Music reaches a climactic point, and Jules raises her sword into the air.*


*Cheers fill the air.*


All right, here's the phrase we need to boycott this week:

"I could care less."

Example: "I don't want to hear your opinion. I could care less about what you think."

Hmmm. Think about it. If you COULD care less about what I think, why don't you go ahead and care less? What you mean to say is, "I COULDN'T care less about what you think."

There you go.

Go forth, my friends. Rid the world of "could care less".

I'm going to go off and help Scotland win its freedom.

(For the "Sons of Scotland" speech, skip to 4:28.)

Oh, Braveheart. I love you.

*All statistics are made up on the spot by me.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Great Googly Moogly

Dear Computer Users Everywhere,

Before you decide to venture on to the interweb, please be sure that you understand the difference between the URL address bar (the place where you type in web addresses) and Google (a search engine). Believe it or not, there are some web sites that are missed by Google's all-seeing eye.

(I was going to make some nerdy comment about how even the all-seeing eye of Sauron missed Frodo Baggins, but I'm way too cool to even know about such things. *Jules has shifty eyes as she pushes her glasses further up on the bridge of her nose.*)


Anyway, friends, please take my advice and learn how to GO to a website instead of SEARCH for it. And, if you can't learn the difference, please don't call customer service and get frustrated when you can't find a website.

Much love,


Monday, September 6, 2010

You Must Be At Least This Tall To Ride This Ride


Do you lack ambition? Did you not eat your vegetables when you were children?


I'm 5' 9 1/2". I'm not a freak of nature or anything. It should be possible for you to be taller than I am. And it would be preferable if you could still be taller than me when I'm wearing 3 inch high heels.

That's all, really.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I. Am. Job.

Guess what, friends? I officially have a job again! *The world lets out a collective sigh of relief.* If someone with a bachelor's degree in music can find a job in this poor economy, surely anything can be accomplished.

So let's cure cancer now, mmkay? It can' be that hard, right?



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